We all have a word or phrase we live by… “liquor before beer you’re in the clear,” “I got my paycheck yesterday so it’s fine,” “if it’s good enough for Beyonce it’s good enough for me.” But in all seriousness, we all do have little mantras we like to live by and I think having one is important.
Having a mantra or word that you have in the back of your mind is a constant reminder of what your goals are. Let’s face it, goals can be intimidating and I admit to falling into the “that goal is too big and too impossible” pit. But in reality, no goal is too big or too impossible once you break it down into baby steps and having a phrase or word can help you achieve those goals.
I have never been a confident person. I am always overthinking everything and avoiding situations because of my lack of confidence and it has gotten in the way of me living. I can’t wear this, I can’t do that… it gets exhausting. Who said I can’t? I did. I am the one who has prevented so many things for no reason other than insecurity.
So this year I decided my word would be CONFIDENCE. I will be confident, I will choose confidence, and I will be accepting of myself. It is a crazy time to be alive in this world with no privacy and it seems like the expectations have gone up and I can only think of one reason for this: social media.
After New Years, I decided to delete my personal Instagram and just take a breather. Shockingly enough, I have never felt better about myself. I’m not saying you need to delete your social media accounts (because let’s face it I’ll probably get back on eventually), but what I noticed is that this past week I haven’t felt like I was in competition with anyone else. Call it what you like but, to me, Instagram has become a big competition of who can get the most likes and followers, who can post the best pictures, and who can live a life that makes others jealous. Again, I’m not saying everyone is like this, but at least in my experience that’s what I’ve found.
I used to get really down on myself when I looked at Instagram and saw people at parties having fun or girls in the best shape of their lives. To some this might be motivation, but for me it was just a shot to my confidence. Why didn’t I look like that? Why wasn’t I invited to these parties? What do they have that I don’t? I know I sound negative and jealous and in all honesty, a part of me was jealous.
That was when I decided to hop off the Gram and start focusing on me. Clearly I am the one who needs to take a step back because I shouldn’t have been comparing myself to others. I am a unique individual living my own life and Instagram was making me feel like I had fallen behind.
Unfortunately, having confidence and being confident has gotten a bad rap because if you’re confident, you’re full of yourself — totally untrue. There is a huge difference between being confident and being narcissistic; but somewhere along the way that line was blurred and here we are. I found this to be really concerning because we shouldn’t be taught that confidence is a bad thing. When we’re taught not to be narcissistic, I think we are also taught to not be confident. To me, confidence is all about being yourself and loving yourself and not worrying about what others have to say or what others think. Other people should not define your worth and how you feel about yourself.
This year, I will learn to be CONFIDENT. I will learn to love myself unconditionally and respect myself in a way I want to be loved and respected. I am worth more than what I have given myself credit for.
This year my word is CONFIDENCE. I encourage each and every one of you to pick a word or phrase that you will live by this year and become the best version of yourselves.
What is your word for 2018?